Wednesday had a lot of trouble logging into Official Persona Email
May. 6th, 2026 07:29 pmWhat I read
Finished Tales From Earthsea, The Other Wind and the pendant short pieces in The Book of Earthsea 'The Rule of Names', 'The Word of Unbinding', 'The Daughter of Odren', and 'Earthsea Revisioned'. I don't know quite what it is, I can see how good her work is, but the feeling is more of distant admiration than what I feel for my beloved favourites? Might even cop to preferring her criticism and essays to her fiction? (not the only author to whom this pertains.)
Started a Dick Francis, Bolt (Kit Fielding, #2) (1986)
- and then, feeling all a-wamble and fretted because of the insomnia thing, fell back into Randall Jarrell, Pictures from an Institution, old favourite.
- and then returned to the horsies and the posh owners and the psycho villains.
On the go
Martha Wells, Platform Decay (The Murderbot Diaries #8) which arrived yesterday.
Up next
No idea, apart from the recently arrived latest Literary Review
Trad Wife and Roadside Picnic
May. 6th, 2026 09:55 amThis was fun and a quick read. It leaned harder on the monsterfucker element than I expected, and where I was expecting mostly psychological horror with elements of the supernatural, no, the supernatural stuff was front and center. I appreciated how our tradwife has depths that she is progessively less able to keep hidden, and I was just as mad at the past and present men in her life as the book wanted me to be. Her husband is just the woooooorst.
That said, ( spoilers )
I also felt that the degree to which she's consciously, actively deceiving herself about what's happening with her pregnancy was just kind of silly. I would have liked subtler writing there.
--
Roadside Picnic (1972) by the Strugatsky Brothers. A man makes a living sneaking into the "Zone," a restricted area full of dangers and treasure left by a one-time visit by aliens.
I completely coincidentally got interested in this and the adaptation Stalker almost simultaneously, without realizing they were related. In both cases I went in with, it turned out, unfounded (but different!) expectations of what I was going to get. Stalker isn't really a cosmic horror movie, alas, although the bones of one are there, and meanwhile this isn't very interested in the Zone at all, at least not as a setting, which if nothing else is a big contrast from the movie! I can see why people say it's a very loose adaptation.
This novel is actually about the daily life of a guy trying to steal forbidden alien artifacts and sell them to the black market, his dealings with various shady characters, and how hard this all is on his family. There are a lot of themes of hopelessness and corruption. It feels very 70s in its mundane focus with Big SF Ideas relegated to the background.
Unfortunately I was super uninterested in most of this. The grimy details of social corruption as seen through our lead's gross sexist lens: not what I came for! I came here for the weird horror shit, the "hell slime" that disintegrates your bones and turns your limbs into rubber, the gravity traps that crush you flat, and the various other hazards of the Zone, which we get only at the very beginning and very end.
I can definitely see why it's a classic: it generally accomplishes what it's trying to do, and it treats its characters and their reality with total unironic seriousness. But it was not what I wanted, alas.
Recent Viewing: The Miseducation of Cameron Post
May. 6th, 2026 09:02 amLast night I watched The Miseduation of Cameron Post, a film about an 11th grader whose aunt sends her away to a Christian conversion camp after she gets caught hooking up with a female friend. The film is set in 1993.
It’s a heartfelt film about Cameron’s resistance to being changed and her developing identity (Asked early on at camp when she started to think of herself as a homosexual, Cameron asserts “I don’t think of myself as a homosexual. I don’t think of myself as anything, really.”), but it doesn’t differ meaningfully from other conversion camp films I’ve seen. Boy Erased made me cry and this one didn’t, if that’s worth anything.
The film swings between the current moment, and flashbacks to Cameron’s relationship with Coley, the friend with whom she was caught, in ways that both show us the line of Cameron’s thoughts and also become somewhat confusing. It was unclear to me for much of the film what actually happened that resulted in Cameron getting caught. Both that experience and the letter Coley sends Cameron later make it seem like that was their first hook-up, but the flashback sections suggest they had been together several times before, which makes it unclear of those are actual memories or just Cameron’s fantasies of what could have happened (further complicated by a couple of actual dream sequences). It was not helped by the actors frequently dropping into whispers and mumbling; I missed entire exchanges because I couldn’t hear.
Either of Cameron’s two buddies at camp—Jane, a Black girl who grew up on a free love commune but whose mother recently married a conservative man whose decision it was to send Jane away (and who has been at this camp for over a year); or Adam, a Lakota two-spirit whose father recently got into politics, converted to Christianity, and demanded his child follow suit—would have made for more interesting protagonists. Cameron comes off pretty nondescript, which is exacerbated by how internalized she is, rarely speaking or expressing herself. It’s not until the end of the film where she really starts saying anything.
One thing The Miseducation of Cameron Post does do differently is that the staff at the camp lack the total, violent conviction of other conversion camp narratives I’ve seen. Some staff have that attitude, but others visibly doubt if they’re doing the right thing, particularly after some exchanges with the campers (and I maintain there’s a scene at the end where one staff member chooses to be passive in a way that helps Cameron and her pals, when he could have done otherwise). This adds an interesting tension, where it’s not just the campers asking themselves if what’s going on here is right or wrong.
The ending is pretty open in a way that’s not totally satisfying (one of those “Okay…but what now?” kind of endings) but it is a sweet final moment and it’s so easy to root for Cam and her friends, even though we just got a reminder of how little the rest of society cares about what’s happening to the kids in these camps.
This film is based off the book of the same name by Emily M. Danforth, which I haven’t read. Turns out it’s a bit of a chunker, at 500 pages, and reviews say Cameron doesn’t go to camp until halfway through, with the first 250 pages just backstory on her relationship with Coley. The film cuts out almost all of this to focus on the conversation camp narrative, which I think is the right choice, because it’s where the real story is.
On the whole, I enjoyed it, but it doesn’t stand out to me in any way.
Love Beyond Dreams
May. 6th, 2026 05:39 pmI'm so happy Aya is getting a full GL. <3 I loved her in Wedding Plan and Love Sea (both were BL with secondary GL). I don't know Mie yet, but she seems great too.
It's available on iQiyi.
Signal boost: Want paid account features, but cannot afford it at the moment?
May. 6th, 2026 08:06 amQuoting from
"Paid features are the only way to support Dreamwidth financially, but people who want these services can't always get them for financial or logistical reasons. Thanks to donor pledges, we can now provide points to as many as 68 people, but in order for this to work, people need to step forward! Follow the link above to find out more. Donors and giftees both participate anonymously through screened comments."and
"Remember, paid features is the only way to support Dreamwidth financially. Having giftees means we give Dreamwidth financial resources for all they do.":)
last thing meme
May. 5th, 2026 11:11 pmThe last...
Movie I watched: Something on Hallmark? I don't remember. In theaters, it was Superman.
Series I finished: Heated Rivalry
Book I finished: Game Changers - Rachel Reid
Book I bought: I don't remember? I get my books from the library
Book I received as a gift: A dessert recipe book from a family friend
Food I ate: Ice cream
Meal I cooked: Enchiladas
Drink I had: Water
Song I listened to: 12 to 12 by Sombr
Album I listened to: I don't listen to whole albums much. Maybe it was The Life of a Showgirl
Playlist I listened to: Heated Rivalry on Spotify
Concert I went to: Can't remember, it's been too long
Game I played: Does Wordle count?
Person I talked to: My mom
Person I texted: My friend
Daily Happiness
May. 5th, 2026 08:14 pm2. I actually had a chance to bring up my work decision totally naturally with my former supervisor, as we were talking and he was wondering how much longer I was going to be on this project, so I was like, the thing is, after the project is over, I don't want to go back to being area manager, and explained my decision. He was bummed, but very supportive. I didn't talk to my current supervisor about it because frankly I don't really like him that much and it doesn't really concern him, since once the project is over I would not be in his department anymore anyway (though technically he is now sort of acting vice president so it all concerns him but still). Anyway, I continue to feel good about verbalizing it and making it more real, since having that to look forward to does help to reduce the current stress.
Also last week I felt really stressed and directionless about work, even though it was nice to work from home, but today I had several productive discussions with people and am generally feeling better about the project overall.
3. Yesterday Ollie found (and ate) two spiders! Lucky boy! One of them was under the shoe rack, apparently.

Agatha all along
May. 6th, 2026 01:53 pmThe murder of Roger Ackroyd (1926)
The big four (1927)
Peril at End house (1932)
Lord Edgeware dies (1933)
Death in the clouds (1935)
Cards on the table (1936)
The ABC murders (1936)
Dumb witness (1937)
Hercule Poirot’s Christmas (1938)
Sad cypress (1940)
Sparkling cyanide (1945)
Death comes as the end (1945)
Taken at the flood (1948)
Crooked house (1949)
Mrs McGinty’s dead (1952)
Dead man’s folly (1956)
Cat among the pigeons (1959)
The clocks (1963)
Miss Marple’s final cases (1979)
About 20 years ago I sat a professional exam the preparation for which took up considerable amounts of my reading time, and as a reward for passing it I decided I would read all Agatha Christie’s detective stories in chronological order. I promptly ran aground on the jingoistic global conspiracy ones that are laden with racial and national stereotypes and bailed before I got very far, but nearly ten years ago I read all the Miss Marples in order, which worked a lot better, and vaguely thought about going back and doing the same with Poirot.
I am still not entirely sure what happened but I read all of these in totally chaotic order (I have put them in a neat chronological list for this because it's interesting) since the beginning of April, and they’re not all Poirots, either. I did have to spend four days supervising work that requires me to do something every 20 minutes and then sit there watching for the rest of the time just in case I had to suddenly do something extremely crucial, which certainly lent itself towards reading, and also some of the library Libby editions had a bit of an explanatory note at the back with some critical appraisal, so I did check for ones that looked unfamiliar. Of this lot, I definitely haven’t read Death Comes as the End before - it’s her historical ancient Egypt one - and I’m not sure I’ve read Lord Edgeware Dies, Dead Man’s Folly or Miss Marple’s Final Cases (short stories) either.
Yes, there are terrible moments of racism (this time around I was particularly appalled at the bit in Death in the Clouds where two characters compare their interests in the hope of finding common ground - “They disliked loud voices, noisy restaurants, and Negroes.” - and while Carlotta Adams in Lord Edgeware Dies is an interesting and sympathetic character, the bit where Poirot points out to Hastings that she’s Jewish and thus may be led into danger through her fondness for money is unpleasant, especially for a book published in 1933. But I do like many of her plots, and some of her characters. Poirot, obviously, with his eccentricities, (usual) keen perception, and fondness for setting little traps for people to reveal themselves unexpectedly (in Cards on the Table, he suspects a young woman might have stolen from a previous careless employer; he asks her, vaguely, to select the best six pairs of French silk stockings from a muddled pile as a gift for an imaginary niece, and when he counts them again afterwards two pairs have vanished). In The Clocks, late in Christie’s oeuvre, Poirot has another young sidekick who has brought him a mystery to solve, and I do like Poirot’s description of him as a terrier wagging his tail as he brings a nice fat rat to his master (a master who should, if he was a policeman prior to WWI, be considerably aged and non mobile in 1963).
The later books also have Ariadne Oliver, the dishevelled apple-eating detective novelist who is tied by public expectations to her serial Finnish detective, and I like her a lot. Hastings has waned on me over the years - so clueless! So hopelessly hidebound, and terrible with women - and The Big Four (which I loved as a child, as it was the first book I’d read in which the main character faked his own death and came back as his brother, and I thought that was brilliant), which requires Hastings to “help” Poirot investigate a dire global conspiracy has far too much of him and it’s all mostly bad. But. She wrote this when her life was falling apart, as a fix-up of various short stories with the conspiracy as a throughline, it was the year after the brilliant The Murder of Roger Ackroyd and whatever else its many flaws, it rattles along with relentless enthusiasm and a certain self-aware humour - “Do you not know that all celebrated detectives have brothers who would be even more celebrated then they are were it not for constitutional indolence?" Poirot asks Hastings, who has been startled to hear of Poirot’s (imaginary) brother Achilles, and I have to laugh.
Poirot is funny quite often - in Taken in the Flood, a post-war book with bitter family infighting, a character is holding forth on the mysterious dangers of Africa:
“[…] a country where a man could disappear and never be heard of again.”
“Possibly, possibly,” said Poirot. “But the same is true of Piccadilly Circus.”
And earlier in 1937’s Dumb Witness, in which Hastings spends much of the time talking to the dog responsible for the title:
“After all this is a free country.”
“English people seem to labour under that misapprehension,” murmured Poirot.
Murderwise, I prefer the murderer not to start stacking up more bodies as soon as Poirot investigates - I think it’s in Sayer’s Unnatural Death where Wimsey actually addresses this directly , that his investigations have caused more deaths than if he’d left things covered up, but Poirot is never troubled by this (he does, notoriously, cover up one investigation, but I think that - and also And Then There Were None - are to a significant degree grappling with justice in a society with capital punishment; but again this is something Sayers digs deeper into).
I am not going to go through them all now, especially as I'm also now reading her memoir of being on an archeological dig (Come, Tell Me How you Live) and her autobiography and another couple of detective stories, but I will make a brief note here to myself to consider writing more about her treatment of adoption (odd in interesting ways) and servants (historical interest), and that latter one takes me into a brief bit about Death Comes as the End, which is set in Thebes around 2000BC. What struck me about this was the focus on one particular family, without any indication of who was Pharaoh or what was being fought over or which Pyramid was being constructed (common features in other historicals set in Ancient Egypt) as well as the no doubt terribly well-informed descriptions of all the household objects. And yes, servants (and slaves), and I suspect Christie enjoyed putting discussions about how to manage prickly longstanding servants of the house in, which to her no doubt felt timeless.
participatory government, in which I participated
May. 5th, 2026 12:11 pmIn some towns, it involves elected representatives being Town Meeting Members (my mom was a Town Meeting Member for literal decades), which is called Representative Town Meeting. Pepperell, as noted, has Open Town Meeting, in which all residents (or in some cases, all registered voters in the town) can deliberate, so I went, rather gleefully, and I was in full Anthropology mode. (I am, yes, registered already. Because.)
I covered Town Meetings for my newspaper, of course, so I went to Every One, and Could Not Vote, had to pay attention to Everything and Be Neutral and Make Sure I Stayed Til The End, so the best thing about last night was I got to leave early.
Aherm.
But I also got to vote! So that was fun. And I identified the people who ask good questions and people sigh in relief when they stand up, and the ones who ask incessant ones forever, about whom other people sigh and mutter about to their neighbors, and I enjoyed the Town Moderator, who isn't as good, Roberts-Rules-wise, as Dedham's long-time one who just retired, but is funny, which is a boon.
They do have Info Sessions the week beforehand (what we called Mini Town Meeting in Dedham), which I did not manage to find out about this time, so I Now Know for future use.
I ran into my neighbor, who works in the Town Clerk's office -- she's one of the people who checks people in, so we nodded to each other in the hallway and I got swept off to the main auditorium. (As is tradition, it was in a school auditorium.) They asked, at the beginning, if anyone was new, and a youngish guy and I waved, and people nodded at us, and the couple next to me said they'd lived in Pepperell 40 years and always came, and I said I was used to Town Meetings because of the newspaper, and it turned out the wife had been in newspapers, too, so that was nice. (Not that I remember their names, but, you know, I can nod to them in future.)
There were a lot of presentations and the thing I was trying to stick around for didn't happen by 9:45, so. I went home. (They have to deal with PFAS contamination in their municipal water supply, and had gotten money for it, but things have changed slightly so they need more money, and I figured it'd be controversial. I don't have to care about the contamination because I have a well, but I do want to Make Sure They Spend Their Money Right.) Alas, I have an early client on Tuesdays, so, as I said, I got to Leave! Yay!
Anyway. Am glad. Like Participating.
State of the blahs
May. 5th, 2026 08:19 pmHave not been sleeping terribly well lately, thus the blahs.
Not sure why this is, because it is not lower back kicking up etc (yay physio) but more that annoying thing of Morpheus seeming very skittish.
Possibly the whole life-admin stuff that going on at the moment? (2nd appt with our Person of Law next week, also appt to Register Our Intentions.)
Perchance the Even Tenor of Our Ways is just a leeetle disturbed.
Still, am doing my best to pull together Something Entertaining and Instructive on Condoms and related matters, which is largely remixing stuff which I do already have, but not entirely.
Am a bit annoyed that I was informed that I could anticipate proofs of a review today but so far no can haz, would have liked to get that out of the way.
Season of Drabbles fics
May. 5th, 2026 09:05 amAs Sholio:
Orchestral (Biggles, 200 wds)
Biggles/EvS on a music-related "date."
Time and Tide (Star Trek TOS, 700 wds, Spock/McCoy [sort of])
I was hunting around for other people to treat, saw this person mention time loops among their interests, and realized it would be really interesting to try writing a drabble sequence in which each drabble was an iteration of the time loop.
(This was also one of the ones I mentioned that was a fandom I've never written before. Particularly neat in this case since this is far and away one of my oldest "fandoms" - I use that in quotes because I'm not sure if you can call it that when you're as young as I was when I first watched episodes on TV a very long time ago, but it's definitely something I've had feelings about since an early age.)
As AltSholio:
A New Normal (Agent Carter, 100 wds, Jack & Peggy)
My actual assignment, and I had fun with it! Just a bit of post-canon adjustment and banter.
Stay (Biggles, 100 wds, h/c)
H/C fluff for the win.
Second Contact (Project Hail Mary, 300 wds, Grace & Rocky & Adrian)
Grace meeting Adrian. This would be the other fandom I hadn't written before, and probably wouldn't have under my main because there's not likely to be any more of it, but I enjoyed writing this little treat!
Red Dress Day
May. 5th, 2026 09:48 amToday we hang red dresses and remember the women, girls and two-spirit people who could be wearing them, but are missing and dead.
(no subject)
May. 5th, 2026 11:41 amMy brain is trying really hard to point me at Currents, so I guess I'm sort of doing Mermay, drawerfic-style? I'll post it if I ever finish enough of it, but it's long and rambly with way, way too much detail about sharks. (And I do mean way too much detail about sharks. I have institutional access to a bunch of academic journals, which means I can include scientifically accurate details about sharks. "Klavier/Daryan mermaid AU" is already a concept with a teeny-tiny audience and with enough research, I can bring that audience down to exactly two people!) It's nice to have something I actively want to write again, even if it's not the fic I was hoping to work on this week.
(Forsaken Road and broken beaten damned are still in progress! Just temporarily backburnered, for a couple reasons; I'll get back to them eventually.)
Dairy-free muffin recipe (with add-ons)
May. 5th, 2026 06:00 pmPrep time: 15 mins
Cook time: 20 mins
Serves: 12 muffins
Ingredients
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- ¾ cup sugar
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- ½ teaspoon salt
- 1 cup unsweetened dairy-free milk alternative - I've used rice milk, oat milk, soy milk, watered down coconut yoghurt, almond milk...
- ¼ cup oil - I use rice bran oil
- 1 egg (if I double the recipe and the eggs are small I'll use 3 instead of 2)
- Fruit (optional): about 1 cup of chopped stone fruit or berries
- Chocolate (optional): about 1/2-3/4 cup of chocolate chips or bits
Instructions
- Preheat your oven to 200C and grease 12 muffin cups or line them with cupcake liners.
- In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients.
- Mix the wet ingredients in a separate bowl or glass measuring cup, milk first, then add the oil and egg, and whisk to combine.
- Pour the liquid mixture into the well of the dry mixture. Gently whisk or stir the ingredients together, just until moistened. Some small lumps are okay; you do not want to overmix.
- Add
- Divide the batter between your prepared muffin cups. They will be about ¾ full without any bulky add-ins (like fruit or chocolate chips).
- Bake the muffins for 20 to 24 minutes, or until the tops are golden and a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.
- Let the muffins cool for a few minutes, and then remove them to a wire rack to cool completely.
- Store the muffins in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 days, or freeze them to enjoy later.
(no subject)
May. 4th, 2026 07:46 pmIt will be back to classes again for summer semester. So my break will only be a few days. I sob inside.
Also, I am confident things will go as usual with the doctor this week. But I always have a sense of dread or just "ugh" at seeing doctors, even if it's only once or twice a year. Kind of hard to avoid doctors when you're a diabetic with hypothyroidism. Alas. Also means eye check up is soon. I do those yearly too. Ugh.
Almost time to get my cat his yearly blood work too, soon. I want my baby to keep being healthy.
I guess because I associate summer with all of these obligations, I hate the season. But I also mostly hate summer because of the heat. And the bugs. Especially the bugs. I just need it to be Autumn. NOW. give me pumpkin spice and Apple cinnamon season. Not whatever is this Refresher season we have going on, cause we got several chains pushing out "refresher" drinks everywhere and competing with Starbucks. (I admit, Dunkin's refreshers are good... oops.)
Daily Happiness
May. 4th, 2026 05:04 pm2. One thing was this whole pee issue with Jasper. ( long )
3. I have also been majorly stressed about work recently. Well, it's actually been for several years, but I'm feeling it more and more, not necessarily because things are more stressful but just because of the buildup, and the whole world in general is adding so much stress as well. I'd been thinking more and more seriously about what I want to do when this project I'm working on ends. I don't think I want to go back to area manager as that is a pretty stressful position, especially now that the economy is not great and the stores are struggling. I would also like to be closer to home, so I've been thinking about stepping down to a department leader position at the store closest to me.
( also long )
So just making that decision, even if it doesn't change anything right now, has made me less stressed out.
4. Molly was writhing around with that toy just moments before I took the pic.
